Cheers to @laituegonflable for the bottle for Xmas.
Pours a dark and devlishly opaque red brown. Only in the thin parts of the glass can you see any light through it, and then it's clouded into obscurity. Head is frothy at first, and settles into a fine-bubbled film on the top that looks pretty sturdy and creamy. Lacing is good, and the body has some good weight behind it. Overall, a decent looking brew.
Dark grain on the nose, with lashings of molasses and tea-leaf, and an odd estery weizen character. Nose is strangely balanced between all these, and it gets a shock of boozy vinous characters as well, leaving it a very odd package all up. Together, they create these phantom characters of chilli pepper and vanilla. Weird.
Taste is similar, although the sweetness is a little more pronounced here and the estery characters of banana come through a little more strongly. Dark grain character on the back, but the booze note sweeps up here as well, leaving it more like a burn of spirits on the finish - sharp dark bitter fruits, a bit of cherry liqueur. Feel is very smooth and soft.
For all its oddities, this is a reasonably pleasant beer. It has a lot of smoothness and a wide swathe of flavours on the palate. Love the complexity, even if the complexity means it ends up a little anarchic.
43 / 100
Pours a pale golden colour with strong, vibrant carbonation frothing up a very pleasant snowy head that sinks slowly, about a finger thick, 1 minute in. Lacing is pretty slippery, but overall it's a decent, refreshing-looking lager.
Nose is quite pungent, with a lot of biscuity vanilla malt, quite sweet with a slight phenolic edge. Hints of a dusty character, some grass clippings as well, overall not all that fresh, a bit sweet for all the lagery goodness.
Taste has a similar malt underlay, with a strong and persistent biscuity malt flavour, with some other elements creeping in: anise, peppermint and a very metallic hop hit on the back. Slight tartness comes through midway. Has a bit of an off flavour towards the end, kind of like a rotten potato, which I think is just a bit of unbalance between flavours.
Feel is nice, with a pleasant tingle, although the body is overall a bit sticky. Yeah, flavours are just a bit skew-whiff and they don't taste fresh or crisp, which means this isn't all that pleasant or drinkable. It's close to being both though.
60 / 100
Absolutely beautiful cherry red body, with a slightly filmy head of yellowish foam, riddled with pancake bubbles. Dissipates to a film with some lacing. The colour is quite beautiful though.
Very strong malty nose - lots of unprocessed molasses, malted grain, a hint of barnyard organics and a surprising note of coconut. Very rich, sweet and heavy. Possibly one of the most full on malt noses I've yet tried.
Also, just malt, malt, malt on the palate. Lightly roasted, but extremely sweet and heavy, almost to the point of insanity. There's no balance here - it's just sweet, thick, gooey, sugary, unrefined madness. Mouthfeel at least fits with the syrupy goop.
This is a pretty extreme beer as far as I'm concerned. I can't even notice any hops, just very, very sweet and malty - it clogs the throat with its insanity. Too much for more than a sip, or a drizzle over a rich and heavy dessert.
69 / 100
Pours a reddy bronze kind of colour, transparent with a very slight bead. Head is decent but doesn't really stick around. Produces very nice lacing. A very appealing-looking drop, but I wouldn't exactly call it 'dark'.
Very sticky and jammy on the nose, with a strong raisin undertone and hints of oak and blackcurrant. Virtually one aroma, although there is a modest, very modest hop hit at the back, but it's more malty than anything else.
Surprisingly refreshing although there is that deep, sticky flavour of spicy raisins on the mid-palate. I think it's just too cold. Waiting for it to warm up now... Still waiting.... Okay, slightly sour on the front, very fruity, with overtones of burnt toffee throughout. Hint of artificial lemon flavour towards the back, like those lemon sherbet lollies (without the sherbet). The dominant flavour though, is that toffee, raisin character. Very heavy for breakfast. Very sweet and heavy, but very good in the mouthfeel. I'd rather have this in my mouth than Saddam's cock. Not all that drinkable this early in the morning, but that's my fucking fault for drinking it this early in the morning.
** NOTE: I tasted this blind, and for some reason it took me a very, very long time to realise it was wheat-based. I was probably drunk at the time **
Pours a very pale banana yellow with generous snowy head, good retention. Fair lacing but not much. Looks like a Euro lager, not a bad example.
Again very Euro-lager on the nose, with fair hops and that kind of sour soda-water aroma. Grassy and tangy, but one real note is all there is. Not too bad.
Very nice and refreshing on the palate, has a very tangy passionfruit kind of flavour, quite dry on the finish, a lot of sour kind of notes, bit subdued and slightly fizzy on the mouthfeel. Not bad, dry and refreshing with some good characters. Quite drinkable.
Very pale yellow body with a quite frothy fine-bubbles white head. The head collapses after a while but leaves some decent lacing. Carbonation is subtle.
Unpleasantly metallic nose, with a large whack of yeasty bread dough. Other than that, very bland.
Very bland on the palate as well. A little ashy bitterness at the end just emphasises how bland the rest of the beer is. If this beer were a film it would be Snakes on a Plane without the texture or subplots. Mouthfeel also very limp.
Drinkable? Maybe. But only if your options are very limited.